Sunday, 31 December 2017 Ipoh , Malaysia

Au Revoir 2017


How are you guys doing ? I hope you're doing well and enjoyed your Christmas or any other occasion for that matter. As for me, I apologise for not posting frequently. There's nothing much happened whilst I was away.

I took myself a time off from blogging because I needed to put all my focus into my education. I am approaching my final examinations for my final semester as we speak and I would really love to let you know.

2017 was a tough year for me personally. Dealing with the loss of my grandmother to the enlarging echo of my depression throughout half of the year was quite an emotional roller coaster for me. I have to be honest in which I don't know what to write about for the last post for 2017. In a way, writing about what had happened would make it permanent and I would love to not be reminded about any of it and let it stay in 2017 alone. 

I'll just throw away the negativity and I'll continue with the highlights of my 2017. 

1. My result for the previous semester was astonishing in my opinion. I did not expect to ever get any more than a 'C' but alhamdulillah, I got more than that. I think it's because I've always expect less for myself and I never really believe that I could score a high marks for my exams. 

2. I applied to pursue Bachelor's Degree in Teaching English as Second Language and I recently went for their entrance test and went through their interview session. It was quite a hectic week for me as I had 2 different group assignments that need to be submitted on the next Monday and the interview was on Saturday. I had to sacrifice that Saturday to go for the interview and went back to college the same day and started finishing the assignments.

The interview ? It went well. I was lucky enough that the questions fired to me was not as equally as hard as I thought it would be. Mostly it was about where I grew up, what I went through high school and I am not blaming them that they were concerned about my CGPA as it was just below the nose.

Alhamdulillah, I went through it all and I am now waiting to finish my final exams & the results will be out in February so wish me luck !

3. My relationship with my family was somewhat grew tighter in a way that I did not expect. Yes, we still go through our ups and downs but who doesn't ? I am grateful that I still have my parents to cling on at times when I need them. Despite the unnecessary arguments, I still appreciate them caring for me.

4. I am happy that I manage to throw some part of the things that enhances my depression away. It was hard because I don't think I ever had depression but I know it is. I think it all started when I was bullied in high school. Enough about the past.

5. Despite those silly arguments, I think I am now learning to care for you. It's not easy to simply just jump into a relationship and pretend that I truly care. It takes time and I know you know that as I have always remind you about it every single time. I might not simply utter the 3 words with 8 letters to you as how you do but I am still learning. For all I know, I could never imagine anyone else that compares to you. I guess being the guy for you to nag around was one of the best decisions I made this year. 

" tell me how we're not alike
 but we work so well 
and we don't even know why "

6. As for you, I am grateful that we manage to reconnect. Yes, I made a mistake in the past and I would never do the same again to you. It's out of the norm for me to see that you manage to not mingle with the past and move forward while reconnect our friendship. At times I wished we could ruin the friendship (read: Demi Lovato) but I know it would ruin it literally. I am always thankful that you could accept the way I am without throwing knives behind my back. Like her, I think I could never imagine anyone that compares to you.

7. As for the people who stayed, I am forever grateful that you still find your way back to reconnect. One in the UK and one in Australia. I know I rarely talk to both of you but you should know that I always love you guys no matter what. I might not show it but I always have you guys in my mind. There's nothing much to say for both of you because I know you'll know what I say.

8. This is hard for me to process but after awhile, I have realise that I am grateful to still have you guys sticking around even when I didn't really post anything. It means a lot to me when you guys stayed hopeful for me. 

I guess this is the end of a new chapter both rhetorically and literally.

Au revoir 2017

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